Friday, June 8, 2007

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Another personal post today because it's my mother's birthday. She would have been 78 years old today. I lost her in 2003 and it has left a big hole in my life. Yes, because she is my mother, but most especially because I would not be a writer today if not for her.

My mom believed in me when few others did. She encouraged me to write and told me to follow my bliss. Mom was smart, funny and a poet. No really. She wrote lovely poetry. When I lost her, I lost my best friend, my most fervent cheerleader, and my main source of unconditional love. She knew my faults and loved me anyway.

Now, the lady was not perfect. Never think it. She could be clingy and needy, stubborn, and bossy. Growing up I knew I could get around her, but I also knew I could push her just so far and no farther. She's one of the few people who has ever really understood me. I wasn't the only person who felt she was special though. Mom had many dear friends. Even acquaintences thought she was special and appreciated her humor and her genuine, warm smile.

Damn, I miss her. Have you ever wondered why I write paranormal romances? Partly my dad, but mostly my mom. Both of them were willing to entertain other religious philosophies than those with which they were raised. I remember mom getting help from the minister to get interlibrary loan books at a nearby University library. You might think that was no big deal, but what did she got on interlibrary loan? Not knitting books. Uh-uh. No, she ordered the Apochrypha and Pseudepigrapha because she wanted to read ALL the books of the Bible, not just those that ended up in the Protestant Bible she read as a child, but the expunged books, too. These suckers were 2-3 inches thick. I remember they literally filled up the dining room table because they were also a foot wide and a foot and a half or two feet tall. BIG BOOKS!

When this woman had questions, she went to the source and she researched her ass off! Her hunger for knowledge stuck with me. Dad used to do that kind of thing with science books, but just watching her read the sacred texts of Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism really impressed me. Had she gone another path, she would have been a university scholar with a PhD in religion. Yeah, my mom was COOL!

She also explored new age thought. I was exposed to the used of tarot cards and psychic research. Mom valued me as an individual. She presented ideas, but never told me I had to believe as she did. Instead, she let me form my own belief system and discussed it with me. My mind was opened to the possibilities which is why I now write paranormal romance. I can imagine things because I wasn't forced to into a belief system which saw only black and white. I learned about shades of gray too.

My mother was a major influence on me. I miss her every day. I miss hearing her voice and feeling her hugs. I'll miss her until I cross over to the other side and join her. My one consolation is that I know with absolute certainty she will be waiting for me when this life is over and will provide just as much fun, teaching, and love for me in the new life I'll be beginning. And that's the way it should be.

I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday!

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