Thursday, February 1, 2007

Plot Cliches - heroines too stupid to live

I put out a chapter or two for critique. At one point (fortunately it was one comment about one thing), my critter said “if your heroine says this she is too stupid to live,” or words to that effect. It got me thinking about plot cliches. We’ve all read them. It doesn’t matter which genre you read or write, cliches abound.

I remember running across a great Web site a few years back (a LOT of years back, but who’s counting). The first time I read it, I was laughing so hard tears rolled down my cheeks and I managed to make it to the bathroom before peeing my pants, but it was a near thing. I don’t go quite that silly over it anymore, but it still has the power to make me laugh. Visit ”The Top 100 Things I’d Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord” by Peter Anspach and you will begin to understand the mental workings of an evil genius.

In the spirit of the Evil Overlord and as a nod to my critique partner, here is my start to a new compilation list:

Things I’d do if I were a heroine too stupid to live…
  1. Who cares about condoms? STDs or pregnancy have no power over me.
  2. I solemnly promise to disappear pregnant with the hero’s baby without bothering to ask the hero if what the evil bitch other woman told me was true.
  3. I shall allow a minor misunderstanding to become a major issue, when a simple conversation would have cleared matters up on page 10.
  4. I will always believe that a man who treats me like crap is a wounded soul who will be made whole solely because I love him.
  5. His overprotective mother will love me someday - ditto on dad.
  6. If the hero’s overly controlling father offers me money to get out of his life, I'll take it. He deserves someone better than me anyway. codicil: If he truly loves me, he’ll hunt me down someday.
  7. If I have a deep dark secret, I will allow some asshole to hold it over my head so that I betray the man I love (aka- the hero). After all, he’ll forgive me because he loves me.


These are just a few. Feel free to add on your own and be thinking. Coming soon to a blog near you, actions of a hero too stupid to live!

1 comment:

  1. I am obligated to venture into the dark room alone, shouting, "Are you there {Hero's name}" even though I have no proof that my lover is in the dark and scary room.

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